Cunk On Earth
Oleh: Candra Aditya
Sebagai saudagar mimpi buruk via Black Mirror, Charlie Brooker mempersembahkan sebuah mockumentary yang luar biasa lucu. Kamu jangan mengkonsumsi apa-apa selama menontonnya. Mengunyah sambil nonton Cunk On Earth akan membuat kamu keselek. Minum juga sama saja. Saya menyarankan kamu menonton mockumentary gila ini dalam keadaan tenang dan posisi pewe karena saya tidak akan bertanggung jawab atas kecelakaan fisik yang mungkin menimpamu.
Cunk On Earth adalah sebuah mockumentary (yang dibawakan dengan serius) tentang kehidupan kita. Jokes-nya adalah si pembawa acaranya yang bernama Philomena Cunk (dimainkan dengan brilian oleh Diane Morgan, Anda mungkin sempat melihatnya sekilas di Death to 2020 dan Death to 2021 yang dirilis Netflix) adalah seseorang yang sangat buta informasi dan agak ngeyel. Ya mirip lah sama nakes-nakes centang biru di Twitter yang bisa-bisanya membuat konspirasi bahwa gempa di Turki kemarin adalah buatan manusia.
Kengeyelannya ini menjadi lelucon terbaik karena semua ahli yang ia ajak wawancara (semua expert-nya beneran btw) harus merespons pertanyaan-pertanyaan semacam, “Apakah Elvis minta maaf di sosmed setelah appropriating black culture?” dan semacamnya. Kemampuan saya menulis tidak akan bisa menggambarkan ekspresi bloon para expert yang harus meladeninya. Ini adalah kasus you have to see it to believe it moment. Karena itu saya menulis artikel ini yang akan menunjukkan jokes terbaik Cunk On Earth menurut saya, supaya kamu semua bisa menyaksikan kejeniusan Diane Morgan.
Selamat bertemu dengan Philomena Cunk.
EPISODE 1: IN THE BEGINNING
Di episode pertamanya Philomena Cunk membahas tentang origin story manusia dan bagaimana mereka bisa berkembang. Kalimat pembukanya menurut saya cukup menggambarkan seperti apa mood Cunk On Earth:
“This is our planet. Planet Earth. It's a planet I'm literally on right now. And unless you're watching this on a long-haul flight or while falling off a building, chances are, you are too.”
Kemudian sebuah observasi yang sangat on point:
“For billions of years, there was no civilization on Earth. Just animals, plants and gasses getting on and mingling. Must have been beautiful, but also boring.”
Di acara serius lain, pembawa acara tidak akan mungkin mengatakan hal ini:
“I'm entering a cave, not by mistake or because I'm a wolf, but because I've been specifically asked to come here by the producers, to look at cave art.”
Dan best joke dari episode pertama:
“To a caveman, this was the thrilling equivalent of Fast and Furious Part 7.”
Bayangkan wajah si expert saat Philomena Cunk nanya ini:
“Have any of the cave paintings been adapted into films? Suppose they couldn't get the rights anyway, though, could they?”
EPISODE 2: FAITH/OFF
Episode kedua Cunk On Earth membahas sesuatu yang jangan dibahas ketika kamu berkumpul bersama keluarga yang konservatif: agama. Dimulai dengan sebuah statement yang sama sekali tidak humble “In the first brilliant instalment of this soon-to-be award-winning series”. Saya sudah tertawa ngakak ketika Philomena Cunk bilang, “But that wasn't the end of the story, obviously because it was only episode one.”
Di episode kedua ini ada joke yang sangat well-crafted seperti:
“ Jesus was born Jewish, but soon converted to carpentry as he followed his dad into the primitive chair-and-table industry. What's ironic about Jesus Christ becoming a carpenter was he was actually named after the two words you're most likely to shout after hitting your thumb with a hammer.”
Kemudian Philomena Cunk bertanya ini ke ahli dengan muka datar:
“Jesus was killed because people didn't like what he was saying. So could you call him the first celebrity victim of cancel culture?
Kemudian Philomena Cunk memegang kertas sambil berkata:
“Apparently, Islam can be a sensitive topic, and the producers say if I don't follow this script to the letter, there's a chance I'll cause a serious international incident.”
Saya tidak akan men-spoil kelanjutan joke ini tapi percayalah, yang ini lucu banget.
EPISODE 3: THE RENAISSANCE WILL NOT BE TELEVISED
Episode tiga adalah soal seni sampai penjajahan Inggris. Di opening-nya, Philomena Cunk sudah menyindir soal persepsi sejarah ketika dia membahas soal mesin cetak:
“Gutenberg's press was the first of its kind in history, except Chinese history.”
Tentu saja belum lengkap rasanya kalau membahas soal mesin cetak tanpa mengolok-ngolok Tere Liye Dan Brown:
“The first book to be printed on Gutenberg's press was the Bible. But as well as spreading the word of God, it spread the word of scientists, philosophers, and eventually Dan Brown.”
Kamu tidak akan bisa menahan tawa saat Philomena Cunk bilang ini di depan The Birth of Venus karya Alessandro Botticelli:
“Her neck's very long. Was she part giraffe or could he just not do necks?”
Dan ini testimoni doi soal patung David karya Michelangelo:
“His muscles are really detailed. Look at his abs. They prove gyms are bullshit because they didn't have gyms back then, but look how toned he is.”
Mengenai Monalisa:
“Like all women, you simply can't tell what's going on in her head.”
Dan terakhir soal lukisan Da Vinci - The Last Supper:
“You almost feel like you could crawl inside it and betray Jesus yourself.”
EPISODE 4: RISE OF THE MACHINES
Episode empat Cunk On Earth, Philomena Cunk membahas soal revolusi industri yang tentu saja seperti yang kita tahu membawa kita ke perang dunia. Ada momen paling ngakak ketika Cunk sedih setelah tahu bahwa anjing bernama Laika yang dibawa ke luar angkasa oleh Rusia meninggal dunia dan dia sedih banget sampai akhirnya dia harus nanya soal lagu favorit ABBA ke expert yang lucunya dijawab dengan begitu serius.
Di episode ini, Philomena Cunk sekali lagi mengingatkan penonton betapa on point-nya observasi dia mengenai manusia. Ini adalah opininya tentang udara”
“If you haven't heard of air, it's an invisible blend of gases so addictive, we suffer fatal withdrawal symptoms within minutes of our supply being cut off.”
Sebuah shade tentang sejarah Amerika:
“They believed in something called Manifest Destiny, the belief that all the land belonged to them and that God wanted them to go west and claim it back from the Native Americans he'd put there first by mistake.”
Sebuah perdebatan yang sangat tidak penting setelah Cunk nanya soal hak warga Amerika untuk mempunyai senjata api:
Cunk: But bears don't have arms.
Expert: They do, actually.
Mengenai ending hidup Lincoln:
“The argument escalated into a civil war, a time when America was almost as polarized as it is today. Now Lincoln was president, at long last slavery was abolished and replaced with simple racial prejudice. Five days after the North won, a terrible fate befell him. He was forced to go to the theater to watch a play.”
Pembahasan soal radio activity yang membawa Cunk ke sini:
Expert: Lots of real things are invisible, yes.
Cunk: So it's like chakras and energy fields, you know, like the ones you get on the inside of your face that connect to your star signs and affect the way you digest gluten.
EPISODE 5: WAR(S) OF THE WORLD(S)?
Episode terakhir Cunk On Earth membahas soal perkembangan teknologi yang akhirnya membawa manusia ke budaya baru yaitu doxing Twitter user yang problematik setelah penemuan smartphone dan social media. Di pembukaannya, Cunk menjelaskan Rusia dengan cara yang sangat mudah dimengerti, “At the start of the 20th century, Russia was a vast empire, just like the Marvel Cinematic Universe is today.”
Tentang Tembok Berlin, Cunk bilang ini:
“The division was symbolized by the construction of the Berlin Wall, a sort of divorce made of bricks.”
Tentang Elvis:
Cunk: Why do people say Elvis Presley appropriated white music?
Expert: They don't say that. What they do say is that he appropriated Black music. He was a white man that sang music of Black origin.
Cunk: Did he have to apologize on social media?
Expert: No, because there was no social media then.
Tentang Cuban Missile Crisis:
“For six days, the world held its breath, meaning it might die from asphyxiation before the bombs even went off. In the end, Soviet Emperor Nikita Khrushchev backed down like a shameful fucking chicken, and his missiles went home with their tails between their legs.”
Observasinya mengenai para hippie:
“The ecological movement had always been popular with hippies, but people ignored them because of the way they were dressed and because they were too stoned to make their point coherently.”
Dan tentang smartphone yang akan membuat kamu ☹:
“It's easy to see why the smartphone has become the most popular invention this century. It's incredibly advanced, yet at the same time, so simple a child can make one. In fact, not just one but about 50 of these an hour, if it wants to avoid another night in the punishment block.”
Cunk On Earth dapat disaksikan di Netflix